Hard questions

As everyday.. I logged in my daily magazine which is facebook and scrolled down in my homepage, and as every day, pictures of martyrs from Syria were everywhere, pictures of blood and destruction that I almost got used to.

As I studied architecture so most of the pages I liked relate to art, architecture and interior so you can imagine the contrast in this homepage ranging from Antonio Gaudi and Zaha Hadid to Annusra front.


above and down right, photos of destruction in Aleppo .
down left , an execution for two innocent Palestinians by radical extremists in Damascus.


Zaha hadid project Dubai Performing Arts Center

So in one of these pages (interesting engineering) I saw this photo. It shows how some countries changed in a hundred years. The countries were USA, Emirates (mainly Dubai), and Syria. This photo grabbed my attention, it wasn’t actually authentic, I didn’t believe it but… I started reading comments.. It was amazing the amount of ignorance I found out, I won’t say that I know very much about Mali or Myanmar, but at the same time I wouldn’t curse randomly online or give an opinion in something I never read about it or never heard from all the sides..


screenshot from (interesting engineering) facebook page

One of the commenters was surprised that Syria has cars!! 🙂 I didn’t know whether I should laugh or be sorry.

Then I posted a comment though I don’t usually comment on pages, I used to think that’s useless. “yes we had cars, factories, scientists, doctors, … and most important we had a safe life and a civilization that is more than 6000 years old, even our Islam was a better Islam. “

What happened after this comment? 121 likes for this comments and tens of inbox messages like;

Are you really from Syria?

You guys deserve what is happening for you in Syria because you threat peaceful countries like Israel “No offense”

Oh God bless Syria we are praying for peace in your country. (I still don’t know how prayers work in such a situation but I appreciate this)

But the question that made me really helpless was ;

“Please tell us what is happening in Syria.” I got this message from tens of people around the world.

I can write anything on the blank page of their minds, I could be as ignorant as those who were saying stupid things online as long as this person will never see me for real.

How hard! .. It’s not politics, not history, not media,, It’s our lives being discussed irresponsibly stupidly randomly on these pages..

What happened since 1900?? is it freedom? is it democracy?

naive question.. It’s OIL and GAS my friends.


Smile Syria.. Smile

on Easter all i can say to Syria that Smile though your heart is aching.. Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You’ll get by…
A song I recorded in my humble voice and on my humble mobile recorder .. with my sister on the piano.
this song has the most encouraging words but still always makes me cry..
in the time of war there must be a reminder for us to smile
From Syria and to Syria ..

And then they said; let’s Somalize Syria



Being lonely in a dark room in a dark house located in a dark city is enough reason for me to write tonight. The whole city is drowning in darkness. I have nothing specific in mind but this blank page at least lightens the room a bit.

Electricity is down in the whole city, the laptop battery will survive for the next 30 minutes, and I don’t know how more I and my city will survive.

Tonight I’m not writing to tell the world anything

Tonight and in many other nights I spent hours staring at my reflection in the mirror, nothing is really clear but the Panda spots around my eyes because the candle light isn’t perfect if you want to feel your beauty.. Anyway beauty doesn’t really matter.. I was staring at my eyes that I hardly recognize..

I used to stare at people’s eyes when I’m in the bus or walking in the street.. it’s strange how you can know a lot by staring at these eyes, these helpless eyes..  these colorless eyes.. I recognized at this dark night that I have the same eyes now.

At first some Arab said : we will Somalize Syria..

It was something unbelievable for us, kind of funny.. I remember at that time I smiled and ironically said : ah as if we are Japan.. we are not really much better than Somalia.. Image

Then after two years , I’m here .. In the dark room of the dark house in the dark city staring at my black face and colorless pale eyes thinking.. I became like those people I used to look in their eyes.. and the word “Somalize“ is much worse than I thought..