what could be better than being in a hospital to see everything closely, just like watching through a microscope.. four days and nights in a hospital in Damascus were full enough to be remembered forever. I had to be with my mother for she had a “Cardiac ischemia” (not sure if the name is right) . the hospital is governmental, It’s the largest and the only one near my home, luckily we have it there or else we’d have to cross the snipers to reach a civil hospital.
When we first reached I had no ability to focus on other people until my mom passed the danger zone , we moved from ER to another room after 11 pm , that room had 2 windows where I could watch the flame out of a burning stable which was suspected to contain weapons as a man there told me. I was too tired and stressed to think, only my visual instinct was working, I can’t imagine I was thinking of how beautiful the fire looks like at night, or how I watched the smoke flying higher , I followed the smoke with my eyes until they faded away. I said to myself, that looks like a flying spirit, I’m sure that smoke is happy , light and free, nothing can stop it from fading away and disappearing forever. Then suddenly a harsh voice shouted at me and woke me up from my unclear spiral thoughts “CLOSE THE WINDOW!!! what’s wrong with you do you want to die ??!” . that was like a slap on the face, “why would I die? I’m not sick, I’m there with my mother” I said, so he smiled at me and said “don’t panic, but snipers are everywhere waiting for a light that appears at night to shoot. It makes them feel better to shoot a sweet girl like you , so close the window and don’t pull the curtains” he smiled again and left.
I sat on the wood chair in the waiting room and took a deep breath. Actually I wanted to cry but It didn’t seem right to cry in front of all these strangers, yes even in the worst times you think of yourself esteem. I wanted to cry because some weak people want to shoot other weak people even in a hospital.. why?
Then in almost an hour, that burning stable started to become a battle zone, right behind the main entrance of the hospital the battle took place every night. I wondered how could a patient be better while all these clashes are around!.
Later, a bored old lady approached to me, she wanted to chat with someone and I was ready to hear and be distracted from all that’s happening outside. She started telling me her black comedy about what happened with her two months ago when she was here for a cardiac issue too. At that time the rebels of Damascus used some kind of experimental chemical weapon against the Syrian army in Damascus country side . the woman told me that 40 men were badly affected by the chemicals and brought to the hospital , her husband saw them, they were all young guys serving in the army. She said, she stopped feeling sick out of a sudden , she was so afraid , “OMG the chemicals were hit very close , like a km away only! And I don’t want to die, I mean I’m old but my grandson will be born in 2 months, I waited for that moment all my life, so I jumped off my bed and went to the doctor, hey look at me I’m stronger than a horse! how do you think I’m sick! I can jump to the eighth floor and get down without even using an elevator! Come on doctor! Your machines need to be fixed!” she said that laughing “all I wanted is to run away, ten men out of those fourty died that night, while I ran out of the ER , can you imagine I ran out of the ER and walked more than 3 kms to reach a safe place at night. the doctors thought I’m going to die but look at me my daughter! Fear is the best medicine hehehe no medication could make me run that night except my fear” she was telling me that story and laughing at herself how she was afraid and I laughed too but well.. to be honest, after I thought about it, I really think that’s not so funny..
It was a place of contradictions , a place to see closer , to remember and to tell, but still not a complete story. On one of the sides, a view of a nurse pulling a bed, on the bed there were a man with an army suit, not too proud to cry out loud , how can he not weep when he knew his friend died while he will survive, you can’t understand that unless you know what a loss means..
And on another side a nurse pulling a bed of an illegal weapons dealer who was caught with his contraband on the borders bringing weapons from Saudi Arabia that claims to send food and health aids to Syrian people.
yet many sides are to be viewed .
A whole life exists inside those walls. A miniature of Syrian stories.
PS: I don’t usually read after i finish writing, so i hope you can forgive my grammatical and spelling mistakes 😛